WRITERS BLOCK. I never knew what this means until recently. Now, I got it. In fact, when you look it up in the dictionary it probably has a picture of me. I can not count how many times I have sat down to write something and after an eternity of mental hoops sat back and said, "Got Nothing." So, instead of sitting here whining about how I am letting my blog readers down I decided to write about it.
The "writers block" hasn’t been completely unfruitful. I have heard from readers on four continents to date. "Chaplain, you OK?" I didn’t know there were so many people paying attention. Made me feel good.
To answer the question, "Yeah, I am OK?" In fact, I am better than Ok. We are in the bottom of the ninth inning and my team here in Iraq is hitting the ball consistently. I have the had the joy of watching leaders mature and temper their God-given strength with compassion, understanding and charity. We are bringing America a gift when we return. Young soldiers, battle hardened, tough, capable with a deep understanding of self-sacrifice. I am proud to have been a part of it.
But, the fact remains I have now been deployed for 561 days. Most of those days have been in combat. My get up and go has "gotten up and left." I am now officially tired "from the inside out." It is showing up in "writers block." There are other symptoms too. I have "stupid crap block". When I see "stupid crap" I want to "knock the crap" out of some "stupid crap." Thus, "stupid crap block."
I have spent the month analyzing this phenomenon. Here is what I have come up with. This is familiar ground. I hear about it all the time. The mother in Minnesota who has spent the last 21 months giving birth to her third child, caring for her toddler, and getting her five year old ready for kindergarten, what does she have? Diaper block? Or, how about the person who every day gets up and goes and faithfully does the job they hate. What do they have? Employment block?
Not only do I hear about it all the time. I have been here many times before. I remember enough about the past twenty years to remember this. I have been tired before. I know what happens, now. It has happened every single time, without fail in my life. It is one of the constants. It’s coming and I can see it on the horizon. REST
I am not the only one who needs to rest, and I refuse to internalize the symptoms of war, compassion fatigue, or think that my "give a crap" o-meter is somehow eternally misaligned. Bottom line is simple: I’m tired. Perhaps, you are too. So, hear the word of the Lord in simple, straight up terms. It is neither, difficult or complicated. It is simple. "Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."
As I write this it is 2200 (10:00PM) the sun has set one more time and I am sitting on my deck smoking a cigar. And I feel better than I did an hour ago. Guess what I feel? REST! I pray you do too. If not now, soon! It will come. Trust the promise.
Dear Pastor,
My companion (Chaplain Todd's Uncle Randy) and I just returned from a short vacation. I think I had some sort of block, too, because we saw at least 6 or 7 soldiers in uniform at the airport, and a couple of them sat across from us. (Randy had to take their seat because it was more accessible.) While I wanted to say something to our soldiers to boost their morale, I was overwhelmed and could not think of anything to say. Maybe the picture of the young lady crying, and kissing her husband or boyfriend good bye at the airport, clammed me up. No words for that picture (sweet sorrow).
Glad you are on the home stretch.
God bless. Will be happy when you all are able to get some rest and luxuriate in the love of friends and family. God bless the brave soldiers who made the the ultimate sacrifice. I know I can say for all of us that we'll be there for their friends and family. So long, Amigo.
Judy
Posted by: Judy Schletty | June 05, 2007 at 06:30 PM
"It's not the age, babe, it's the mileage" Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Good to have you writing again. Kay
Posted by: kay | June 06, 2007 at 09:54 AM
Trackbacked by The Thunder Run - Web Reconnaissance for 06/06/2007
A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention.
Posted by: David M | June 06, 2007 at 10:04 AM
my ears are on chaplain and I hear you! I`m glad your ok!
Posted by: Nancy A Comparan | June 06, 2007 at 04:21 PM
GOd Bless you Chaplain........
your reward is ahead
stay safe sir
Posted by: debi s | June 06, 2007 at 07:57 PM
It has always made me feel awkward, because I don't know to say this but, "Thank God for God!"
I am glad to finally hear from you, and I am glad you are doing well. We will continue to pray for you all the way home. :)
Posted by: Rosemary | June 07, 2007 at 08:25 AM
I too am glad you are alright and "batting in the bottom of the 9th". My wife's cousin, Andrew, was hit by a roadside bomb over there a couple weeks ago. He's alright but with two less legs. After that incident, this war came painfully close for the first time. Take care and I wish you the best. May God grant you a speedy and safe return.
Eric
Posted by: Eric | June 08, 2007 at 02:31 PM
Corey it's great to see you posting again. Somehow your writer's block comments reminded me of a current popular song by JoDee Messina entitled "My Give-a-damn's Busted". I KNOW your give-a-damn is definitely not busted because I know YOU, but for the record--you're entitled to have it bust every now and then.
God bless you; your rest is coming soon...
Posted by: Heidi H | June 10, 2007 at 09:50 PM
*sigh* - i can relate - i've got writer's block, too - real bad! hate it....
Hang in there!
Posted by: Kat in GA: A Soldiers' Angel | June 11, 2007 at 07:43 AM