The Online Chaplain

Hurts When You Breathe

It’s hard to say something profound if it hurts when you breathe.  It is hard to wax eloquently when it feels a St. Bernard has locked his jaws onto your backside.  That is where we find ourselves today.  The 1st BCT has received the equivalent of a warning order that we are being extended for an unspecified period of time in Iraq.  Soon we will find out if it is true or not, but the effect of the possibility is true enough.  Back home in the states the news spread like wild fire.  Here it landed like mortars with a sick thud.

Near the end of our race just when we thought the finish line would be around the next bend, we have learned our 10k race may actually be a marathon. Like a runner who didn’t pace himself for the full race we are hurting a bit, ok a lot.  If this happens we will miss another season of birthdays, anniversaries, and special events.  Parents, spouses and children will drive on without us for another season.  This is the proposed reality we face. It is a little hard to breathe if you think to long on it.

This hard to breathe feeling becomes over time, all too common. I have felt it before.  So have you. I felt it the day my mother died. I heard the gasp in a friend’s voice not to long ago as he explained to me the type of cancer he has and the treatment he will endure.  I heard it in my dear wife’s voice as we contemplated the possibility of deployment eighteen months ago, and again yesterday when we talked about extension.  Today I saw it in more soldiers’ eyes than I can count.

The Bible says, “…Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” By biblical definition a prophet speaks for God, so let me give speaking for God a try.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations."

God will sustain you through this time in your life.  God will keep your going out and coming in. God will watch over you. The God of the universe who holds the stars in the sky and controls the beat of your heart has not abandoned you. He has a plan and the heart of that plan is your welfare. Know the truth…you will get your second wind.  We will be gathered from the nations. We are not alone.

Out of the Mouth's of Babes

About two weeks ago my seven year old and I were talking on the phone.  He asked me the question of the month, “Dad, are you going to be home for Christmas?”  I said, “I’m sorry buddy, but, I have to stay here in Iraq and take care of soldiers.”  There was a moment pause and then my angelic little seven year old blurted out, “Daaaamn it!”  Yep, my little innocent pastor’s kid who has faithfully had his mouth washed out with soap for these little indiscretions cussed, like an old farmer.

I acted immediately, “Buddy, quickly hand the phone to your mom.”  You see I knew his normally mild mannered mother was moving the moment those words left his mouth.  The matriarch of my clan has zero tolerance for a foul mouth.  Zero!  I knew the first thing to come into her mind when the pristine quiet of her home was violated was “I brought him into the world and now I am going to take him out.”  So, if I was going to save my youngest I had to act quickly, “Buddy, quick hand the phone to your mom.”  By the tone of her voice I knew my instincts were correct.

I just said one thing at that moment and we both realized the truth of it.  “Honey, he shouldn’t be disciplined for saying what all of us were thinking.  O.K???”  There was a long pause and then I heard the fire in my beloved subside.  She said, “OK.” 

Well, we are through the holidays and my little boy said it best.  Yep, being away from your family during the holidays sucks, it just does.  And it is alright to say so.  Too often we think the Christian way, or even the best way is to paint a smiley face on loss and march on.  We mistake Christianity with Pollyannaism.  However, a theologian of the cross, calls a thing what it is.  That which is difficult is a trial.  That which is painful brings sorrow.  There are real tragedies, real pain, real sorrow and loss to deal with in this world and a fresh coat of paint is not helpful.  It is what it is.  And thanks to my seven year old for naming it.

However, there is another truth of equal importance.  It is the truth about God.  Right in the midst of our loss stands Jesus calling to us saying, “You who are heavy laden come to me and I will give you rest.”  Right in the middle of our sorrow stands Jesus with a promise of strength saying, “As your days are numbered so shall your strength be.”  Every loss, every sorrow, every pain bears the fruit of hope.  Romans 5:3 says, “Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.  Hope does not disappoint us.” 

So, what is healthiest for us?  What is it that God would have us do with the sorrow of our lives?  The Christian way is to name the pain and name the gain.  We stand in the sorrow so we might name the victory.  Even in this place away from family there were great gifts.  On Christmas Night I sat on my porch with five Christian brothers smoking cigars.  We agreed on this, “I wouldn’t go through this again for anything, but I wouldn’t have missed for the world.” 

Whatever your loss is right now, name the pain and name the gain.  In the midst of your sorrow you will find peace and strength.  In the midst of your pain suffering you will find hope.  You are not alone.  I promise.

theonlinechaplain

First Lost Tooth

On Sunday, my youngest lost his first tooth.  Thankfully, not in a fist fight at Sunday school, but by natural causes.  The potential for how he lost his first tooth always had a wide range of possibility.  It could have been a fist fight, falling out of a tree, or reasonable retaliation from one of siblings – anything.  Me, I’m grateful for natural causes.

God sometimes uses the craziest things to remind you he cares.  This week – my little guys lost tooth.  You see, at our house I am in charge of tooth extraction.  I have guided three crying, scared little people through their first encounter with the tooth fairy.  This should have been the fourth.  But, the moment came and went and adds itself to a long list of things soldiers miss, and others take for granted. 

Listen to these summaries from the lives of fellow soldiers.  Your daughter has emergency surgery and you are not there to hold her hand.  The birth of your first born went well, but you will have to take every ones word for it, your not there.  You celebrated your wedding anniversary by doing an extra hour of PT and your wife goes out with girl friends.  Your son spends a few days in the hospital and you miss the opportunity to help.  Your first grader got on the bus for the first day of school with only one parent standing in the drive way.  Peers at work got the promotion and your career is on hold.  Fellow college students started their third year college while your still working to finish the first because of back to back deployments.  Harvest started, duck season is reported to be better than ever, deer season is right around the corner, and your buddies toasted you last time they were at the American Legion.    In a nut shell…you are missing a lot and all the optimism in the world doesn’t change this.

As I thought about this today I remembered these words of Jesus, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  Even though we are missing much of the things that give us life we are still under God’s care, so are our families.

I wasn’t there for the big tooth pull, but God was.  I didn’t see him off for his first day of first grade, but it all happened under God’s watchful eye.  As father, you did not supervise the birth of your firstborn, but our heavenly father never left your family’s side.  You are doing your duty and extra PT instead of college courses and anniversaries and you wonder if anyone cares, God cares. 

Soldiers listen up.  You are six thousand miles away from your loved ones and the people and places that give you strength.  But, you are not outside of the care of God.  Families back home hear the good word!  Six thousand miles separate you from the soldier you care about, and God understands your every anxiety.  You matter!  God Cares!  This won’t last forever.  Hang on.